Thursday, June 17, 2010

Walk By Faith, Even When You Cannot See

A women's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her.

How true is this?! I desire to be like this so much. But how do I even begin to make this my life. I was thinking this morning about how I would need to balance things. But, I don't think that would be the solution. The true solution would be letting go of my heart, wrecklessly abandoning everything that I hold so tightly to, for example relationships, past sins, grudges and the list can go on... those are me specific. Now, when I say wrecklessly abandoning those things, I mean giving them to God in such a way that there is no way that I would even desire, even just a little bit, to take them back. Let go of things that I am holding onto so I can live the life that I have been given today. But where do I start?
I find comfort in these words and want to truly live them.
8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. 9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.-Romans 8:8-9
I know that this isn't simple but I know that it is do-able. Sometimes, God may present me with something that seems like it is too much for me to handle and it may be but the great thing is that he is ALWAYS there beside me. All I have to do is turn to him. That is the biggest part, when in trouble or down or up or ANYTHING look to Christ for guidance.
15Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.16Be joyful always; 17pray continually;18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.-1 Thessalonians 5:15-18
My prayer for this week is this,
14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16as you hold out[a] the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.-Philippians 2:14-16
Its truly amazing how far from all of this we can get when we get so wrapped up in this world. But we are commanded to live in and not of it. This summer, I have really started to live a life that God can boast about. I want him to be proud of everything that I do and the decisions that I make. I want to do everything for him, consulting him no matter what the circumstance may be. I do not always do the best at this job, but I'm trying! I don't want to forget what it feels like to have God be in control, it helps me to remember what its like without him in control and its NOT pretty!
I pray that someone out there can get something from this. This summer I am praying that I can learn to walk by faith, even when I cannot see. I'll leave you with a song:

Somewhere in the Middle
-Casting Crowns

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle. With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is, But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

Love you all,
-In Christ,

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

What a Life We Live!

It is June. June. What? It's June?!

I have to keep telling myself that. I cannot believe that 2010 is getting closer and closer to being halfway over. Unbelieveable.

This has been one of the most challenging years to date. I feel like I may say that every year for the rest of my life. God is teaching me new things all the time. I was in church on Sunday and this rang clear. Am I living this?

Matthew 5:13-16

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

If I have lost my saltiness, then what good am I? So, my prayer this week is that I am not forgetting the reason that I was placed on this earth. I am the light of the world, a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. Who am I to think that God cannot overcome my most trying circumstances? He can and he already has! I just keep forgetting because I am human and I am so very flawed. I am SO thankful that Jesus came to wash away all that I have royally messed up! I cannot imagine a world without mercy, forgiveness, love and grace! No grace?! Its a scary thought!

The Lord is conquering so many demons around me. One thing that I struggle with on a daily basis is judgment. While I do not wish to be judged by anyone because no one knows the struggles that I deal with, whether it be my weight, my relationship decisions, my financial situation, my school decisions, in the same way people do not need me to judge them on the very things that I pray so desperately that people do not judge me for! I do not know why it has been a struggle for me, but its a demon I fight every day. Some days are better than others and the Lord is teaching me. Time, it takes time.

Forgiving myself for past mistakes is also something that I struggle with. Sometimes I just can't understand why such a great God would even start to forgive all of the wrong that I have done against him! I am so undeserving! That is the point, though! Even though I do not deserve the love and mercy that I receive on a daily basis, I still get it! I don't have to understand it, it isn't going to change the fact that my God still loves me, everyday. Thank you, Lord! Help me to remember that, always.

The summer has begin and its going to be fraught with a whole new set of challenges. Adjust to friendships that at one point I thought God had led out of my life. Prayer works. I never stopped praying that if those people were meant to make an impact in my life, meant to stay there for a long, what was best for my faith, that the Lord would use them to teach me. There have been struggles but we are fighting through them. Every relationship struggles. Every relationship is flawed, that is the beauty of it all. We have to work at it. We love. We forgive. We're thankful.

This is my prayer:
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:3

Hope everyone is enjoying their summer so far!