What a Life We Live!

It is June. June. What? It's June?!

I have to keep telling myself that. I cannot believe that 2010 is getting closer and closer to being halfway over. Unbelieveable.

This has been one of the most challenging years to date. I feel like I may say that every year for the rest of my life. God is teaching me new things all the time. I was in church on Sunday and this rang clear. Am I living this?

Matthew 5:13-16

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

If I have lost my saltiness, then what good am I? So, my prayer this week is that I am not forgetting the reason that I was placed on this earth. I am the light of the world, a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. Who am I to think that God cannot overcome my most trying circumstances? He can and he already has! I just keep forgetting because I am human and I am so very flawed. I am SO thankful that Jesus came to wash away all that I have royally messed up! I cannot imagine a world without mercy, forgiveness, love and grace! No grace?! Its a scary thought!

The Lord is conquering so many demons around me. One thing that I struggle with on a daily basis is judgment. While I do not wish to be judged by anyone because no one knows the struggles that I deal with, whether it be my weight, my relationship decisions, my financial situation, my school decisions, in the same way people do not need me to judge them on the very things that I pray so desperately that people do not judge me for! I do not know why it has been a struggle for me, but its a demon I fight every day. Some days are better than others and the Lord is teaching me. Time, it takes time.

Forgiving myself for past mistakes is also something that I struggle with. Sometimes I just can't understand why such a great God would even start to forgive all of the wrong that I have done against him! I am so undeserving! That is the point, though! Even though I do not deserve the love and mercy that I receive on a daily basis, I still get it! I don't have to understand it, it isn't going to change the fact that my God still loves me, everyday. Thank you, Lord! Help me to remember that, always.

The summer has begin and its going to be fraught with a whole new set of challenges. Adjust to friendships that at one point I thought God had led out of my life. Prayer works. I never stopped praying that if those people were meant to make an impact in my life, meant to stay there for a long, what was best for my faith, that the Lord would use them to teach me. There have been struggles but we are fighting through them. Every relationship struggles. Every relationship is flawed, that is the beauty of it all. We have to work at it. We love. We forgive. We're thankful.

This is my prayer:

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:3

Hope everyone is enjoying their summer so far!

-ML