I miss all of these people SO much!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
So, i've slacked A LOT lately! I got out of my routine and now I'm trying to find it. Monday when I get back from PG I'm going at it. Thats the goal. Ok? Hopefully this weekend I can get something started with it. We'll see... keep praying!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
I missed yesterday so I'll combine today. I'll add and edit later. *sigh* I almost sluffed on going to the gym yesterday but then at about 7:15 I made myself go down to the gym. I knew that I couldn't miss a day, it wouldn't be good if this early in forming my habit that I didn't go, like planned. So, I got off my lazy rear and went down to the gym. I did about the same as the day before. There were a lot of guys down there last night. *smiles* I'm a girl that doesn't mind working out with guys and you would think that because of my weight that I would mind, psh.... that won't stop me. *laughs*
<<------ I am still that little girl inside, longing to be in the limelight. But that limelight is directed at Jesus now. "I wanna see Jesus lifted high, a banner that flies across this land, that all men may see the truth and know, he is the way to heaven." I love that song and that is what this picture makes me think of. The little girl inside is screaming to come out and play, begging me to make more friends so she doesn't have to sit in her room doing homework all the time, she needs to wind down, have a little fun. :) This weekend, I'll get my fun. *laughs* Ok, so my tangent for the day. I asked my roommate last night that if I fell asleep before her boyfriend called, that when he did call to please take the phone in the hall and talk there. I've asked her to do this several times without success. I thought that if I were more, I don't know, authoritative? then maybe this time she would listen. Wrong. I woke up at one thirty this morning and you guessed it she was on the phone. *sigh* I need my sleep. I told her that. She doesn't get it. So I was awake until three thirty this morning. Today is my busy day. I need to be rested dadgumit. I don't know what to do. Pray. I have been lifting her up in prayer for the last few days, I really don't know what else to do except to keep doing that. I will. I'm cutting the post here, its getting long... -In Christ, ~Marisa
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Day two in the gym and I pushed myself harder today. I ran on the Elliptical for about 25(ish) minutes. I really like doing that. Its exhilarating! I started a food diary today for my benefit. I just have to be honest on it for it to work. This is gonna work, I know it. Prayer... prayer is the key. I have a test tomorrow at nine and a book report due at one thirty. I've got to get on it, seriously. Ugh, I don't want to. I still have to finish the book. But if I can read the book and write the report tonight then I can take a nice little nap tomorrow. :D The book that I have to finish is called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire. I actually really like it. Its just reading it instead of doing the many other things that I could be doing, ya know? Eh, whatever. *laughs*
I started to talking again to someone who broke my heart. I think things can get better now. I'm working on be over what happened. I'm working on fixing the relationship, he did apologize, but things are gonna be different. They have to be different. Different, everything is different. Not just that relationship but with a lot of others. This time last year my life was so different and not in a good way either. I had some great friends, this is the truth but also neglected some of the greatest friends. Neglected them for a stinky boy too. But they forgave me luckily. Thanks Allison and Brian. I'm lucky to have them. My mom too. *sigh*
Ok, time to work, dang it!
Monday, October 1, 2007
This is not going to be an easy road. *rawr* First of all I'm getting frustrated with things that I can not even control. For example: My roommate and her boyfriend. She will not stand up to him, he walks ALL OVER her, she lets him do it. All I can do is pray, she won't listen to me, not really listen to me. I do not want her to get hurt, but she is on the way to getting walked all over all the time, he is arrogant and everything is all about him. Its frustrating. All I can do is pray, I know that. *sigh* Situations that are out side of my control. *grrr*
Today was my first day without caffeine. Also, I ate pretty healthy, I'm down to fruit and cereal in my room so I have nothing that is going to hinder my weight lose. I'm not going to go to wal-mart and spend money on junk. Water, fruit, and vitamin things, thats all. I'm gonna eat well, I'm going to try to start getting up early, taking my shower, doing a devotional. I need prayer. I Guess I should enlist some help. Which I'm gonna do before I go to sleep. *sigh* I can do this. I know I can. I went to the gym today for almost an hour, I did well, it was hard but the first couple times are gonna be hard. Its gonna be ok. "That that don't kill me will only make me stronger" -Kanye West... he knows his stuff. :) I gotta get on my stuff... i've got two tests and a book report to worry about. *sigh* I can handle this, God is in control.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
I know that its time for a change. I've changed mentally and spiritually over the past year and now its time for a physical change. There is nothing like your roommate telling you that you are a big woman to get you going. While it may be true, I know that I am a big woman, it doesn't mean that I haven't tried to change it. I've come to the realization that I haven't tried hard enough to change it. She prances around her saying she is fat all the time when she weighs probably 130 pounds, if she weighs that much. She has no idea what it means to be fat. I'm tired of people thinking they know. Just because there are idiot women who starve themselves in our society just to get a man to look at her, doesn't mean that is what a man wants to look at. Granted a man probably doesn't want to look at a woman that is obese either however, 130 pounds is far from overweight... so just stop. Be healthy and maintain your physical health, don't gripe and complain and eat all the time, thats how you'll get fat and it'll happen.
Now, this isn't intended to bash skinny people or fat people. Frankly I don't expect anyone to read this let alone comment on it. I just need this for my own verification that I am doing something about the fact that am at a unhealthy weight. I'm a happy person however the weight is keeping me from doing some things that I really love doing, so I'm doing something about it. I live on a college campus so eating real healthy is a situation that I am faced with and I'm not real sure what to do about it. My first outlet is prayer, thats the first and foremost option. Nothing else is guaranteed to get me out of this or get me through this. But I have to put in my effort too. *sigh* Here it goes. I promised myself that starting October 1, 2007 it was gonna be different. I want this to be for me and my health and for God and my relationship with him. I do not desire to be alone for the rest of my life and if I were to maintain my weight, the possibility is there, our world has proven that to me over and over again. So, here I go. Its time to change, this isn't going to be an easy road, but I'm doing down it nonetheless.